ADD, easy as... wait, what were we talking about?

So my doctors think I have ADD, or as it's called these days, ADHD. (In my case the H stands for Hysterical.) So I go to this web site that is supposed to give you tips, right, to manage this condition and get more organized and all that. I take a couple of 'self-tests', "pass" them with flying colors, meaning I'm apparently RAGINGLY ADHD, and then the site returns the list. It's about seventy items long.

I sit there and stare at it blankly for about two minutes.

I mean, if I can't focus, how the HELL am I gonna get through this list? I just could not. I tried to read it. I did. It said something about "You keep salad greens in the fridge, so have your salad making station near the fridge."

Excuse me. Salad making station? I have no salad making station. The kitchen looks like a bomb went off in there. This is part of the problem. What a joyous life I would have if it included such a thing as a salad making station. And my refrigerator is out of greens. Unless you count the ones hiding in the vegetable crisper from a few months ago. I ate the fresh ones already, from the ready made salad I got at the store the other day. The store that has a salad making station. Should I move my refrigerator near the store? Cause otherwise I do not see this happening, this proximity thing, at all.

After reading about the salad making station, I read one more item. It said, if you feel the urge to say something negative, stay silent.

I just can't say anything about that.